“You can spend a lifetime being curious about the inner world of your partner,  and being brave enough to share your own inner world,  and never be done discovering all there is to know about each other.”
― John M. Gottman

Has the spark gone out?  Do the two of you struggle with intimacy, trust, or communication?  Are you hoping to rebuild and bring your relationship to the next level?

You don’t have to do it alone.

In addition to individual psychotherapy and holistic psychiatric care, Taconic Psychiatry is proud to offer couples counseling for romantic partners just like you.  We serve couples here in Manchester and all across Vermont, and we also specialize in LGBTQ+ affirming couples therapy.  Every relationship deserves a chance to thrive, and we strive to make that happen.  If you and your partner are interested and ready to get started, contact us today.

Do we need therapy?

Couples counseling (also called couples therapy) is designed to help you and your partner solve problems in the relationship while also overcome barriers to intimacy and connection.  But how do you know if you need therapy?

Many couples do not seek help until things start to get bad:

  • Trouble solving problems together
  • Loss of satisfaction and enjoyment
  • Difficulty meeting one another’s needs
  • Issues with (or lack of) intimacy

Some wait until things go from bad to worse:

  • Frequent fighting or arguing
  • Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
  • Attempts to control one another
  • Cheating, lying, or hiding things from one another

Even if none of these things are happening and things are going well, every relationship has room for improvement – including yours.

How does couples counseling work?

First, many problems are rooted in relational distance and a lack of closeness.  You and your partner may have grown distant from each other over time.  You or your partner may feel unsatisfied, unseen, or unappreciated.  The strongest romantic partnerships have a deep sense of intimacy.  This includes both physical intimacy (e.g., sexual satisfaction) as well as emotional intimacy, the latter of which being the most critical.  Couples counseling can help you regain your sense of closeness and reignite your passion.

Second, many problems are related to inconsistency and disloyalty.  Research has found that as many as 1 in 7 couples will experience an incidence of cheating.  However, trust goes much further than just relational fidelity.  Highly satisfying relationships consist of partners that know they can rely on one another, that they are both there for each other.  Whether you are working to rebuild broken trust or hoping to boost your bond, couples counseling can help.

The third and most significant driver of relational problems is disconnection and patterns of miscommunication. When there is a conflict, one person may blow up, try to fix things, or force a conversation while the other shuts down, tries to avoid talking about it, and withdraws.  You might feel disrespected or dismissed.  You may not really know how to react to each other, how to comfort and care for each other.  Couples therapists can help you begin to notice these patterns and learn to break free from them.

Couples therapy is all about helping you find deeper intimacy, enhance feelings of trust and commitment, and engage in healthy, heartfelt communication with one another.  Ultimately, the goal of the couples therapist is to work themselves out of a job – the sooner the relationship can sustain and support itself, the better.  You and your partner deserve a chance to have the relationship you’ve always wanted, and Taconic Psychiatry wants to help make that happen.

Many relationship problems can be traced back to three main problems:

What does couples counseling look like at Taconic Psychiatry?

Our licensed psychologist and couples counselor, Dr. Ben Stillman, offers specialized psychodynamic couples therapy.

Dr. Stillman’s approach utilizes Object Relations (OR) theory, which dives deeply into your attachment needs and relational story.  You and your partner have the chance to discover the underlying psychological forces that drive reflexive patterns in your relationship.  Why do we argue over small things?  Why do we lash out when we are stressed?  Why do all your relationships have the same issues?

Dr. Stillman can help you and your partner explore and find answers to these questions and more.

With the help of Dr. Stillman, you can begin to:

  • Reignite feelings of intimacy
  • Deal with difficult decisions (e.g., divorce)
  • Work through the pain of infidelity
  • Learn to meet unmet needs
  • Work better as a team
  • Be vulnerable and open with one another
Ben Stillman, Psy. D

Get Started with Taconic Psychiatry

Contact us today to schedule an appointment.

Let’s get your relationship back on track.

All of our services are entirely confidential and offered both online as well as in person.  We work with teens (16+) and adults from all over Vermont: Manchester, Dorset, Bennington, Rutland, Londonderry, Winhall, Arlington, Shaftsbury, West Dover, and beyond.

We work collaboratively to help you reach your goals as efficiently and effectively as possible. We strive to help you feel supported, understood, and cared for as you make your wellness journey.

No matter how long you’ve struggled, no matter how hopeless things might seem, we can help.